He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
