Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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