try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
