she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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