grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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