Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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