How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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