and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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