seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
