Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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