@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
