Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
