guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
