just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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