Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
