Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
