you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
