On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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