I'm going to rape someone's good day.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
