my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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