Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
