Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
