I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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