I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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