Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
