the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
