There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
