just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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