it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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