I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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