next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
