Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
