Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
