I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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