Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
