the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
