too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
