Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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