I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
