Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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