I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
