Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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