why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
