It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is my gift to your gina
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
