Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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