I got chris browned last night
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
