her vagine was all disorganized.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
They have beer where we have blood.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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