Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
