FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
