People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
