Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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