Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
