I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
