I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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