I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
