i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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