I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
